This page is dedicated to the less serious side of life!
The Lighter Side
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- Why doesn’t the sun need to go to college? Because it already has millions of degrees.
- Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything.
- A forester is walking through the forest and a tree yells, “Stop! You can’t cut me down, I’m a talking tree!” The forester responds, “Yeah, and you’ll dialogue.”
- Nature is so resourceful, it can make dew with just water.
- Why was the whale sad? It lost its porpoise.
- Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
- The sea cucumber turns to the octopus and sea urchin and says, “With friends like these, who needs anemones?”
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- Why didn’t the seagull fly over the bay? Beause then it’d be a baygull!
- Why couldn’t the shellfish farmer go for a run? He pulled a mussel!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
- Smaller beetles may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
- A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
- I saw a beaver movie last night. It was the best dam movie I have ever seen.
- For a fungi to grow, you must give it as mushroom as possible.
- I was going to grow some herbs, but I couldn’t find the thyme.
- What happened when Ally Algae and Freddy Fungus started dating? They took a lichen to each other.
- Hey flower lovers: What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your style.
- I couldn’t marry the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
Thinkings....
Bear In ThereBy Shel Silverstein
There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
He's munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear In our Fridgitydaire.
There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
He's munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear In our Fridgitydaire.
Thought For The Day
If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer,
A wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er,
A magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in! Come in!
Shel Silverstein
If you are a dreamer,
A wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er,
A magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in! Come in!
Shel Silverstein
This Day in History
December 9
1625 - The Treaty of the Hague was signed by England and the Netherlands. The agreement was to subsidize Christian IV of Denmark in his campaign in Germany.
1783 - The first executions at Newgate Prison took place.
1793 - "The American Minerva" was published for the first time. It was the first daily newspaper in New York City and was founded by Noah Webster.
1803 - The 12th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by the U.S. Congress. With the amendment Electors were directed to vote for a President and for a Vice-President rather than for two choices for President.
1848 - American author and creator of "Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit," Joel Chandler Harris was born.
1854 - Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," was published in England.
1879 - Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company.
1884 - Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball-bearing roller skate.
1892 - In London, "Widowers' Houses," George Bernard Shaw's first play, opened at the Royalty Theater.
1907 - Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the Wilmington, DE, post office.
1926 - The United States Golf Association legalized the use of steel-shafted golf clubs.
1914 - The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire.
1917 - Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops led by Viscount Allenby.
1940 - During World War II, British troops opened their first major offensive in North Africa.
1940 - The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM radio advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR in New York City.
1941 - China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy.
1942 - The Aram Khachaturian ballet "Gayane" was first performed by the Kirov Ballet.
1955 - Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained his world middleweight boxing title.
1958 - In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society.
1960 - Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known as "Univac 1107."
1960 - The first episode of "Coronation Street" was screened on ITV.
1962 - "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world premiere in London.
1965 - Nikolai V. Podgorny replaced Anastas I. Mikoyan as president of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet.
1975 - U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from having to default.
1978 - The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League (WBL) was played between the Chicago Hustle and the Milwaukee Does.
1983 - NATO foreign ministers called on the Soviet Union to join in a "comprehensive political dialogue" to ease tensions in the world.
1985 - In Argentina, five former military junta members received sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty war" in which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared."
1987 - West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising) against Israeli occupation.
1987 - In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the Jabliya refugee camp.
1990 - Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential election in the country's history.
1990 - Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's first free elections in 50 years.
1990 - The first American hostages to be released by Iran began arriving in the U.S.
1991 - European Community leaders agreed to begin using a single currency in 1999.
1992 - Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their separation.
1992 - Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George.
1992 - U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore Hope'.
1993 - The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms control treaty.
1993 - Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope.
1993 - At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists produced a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3 million watts.
1994 - Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland.
1996 - UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the UN trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990.
1999 - The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian diplomat that had been caught gathering information with an eavesdropping device at the U.S. State Department.
2002 - United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after losing $4 billion in the previous two years. It was the sixth largest bankruptcy filing.
2003 - In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch etchings, a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's mother, were valued around $518,000.
2013 - AMR Corporation and US Airways Group completed a merger and was listed on the NASDAQ as American Airlines Group, Inc.
Birthdays
Gustavus II 1594
John Milton 1608 - Poet
Clarence Birdseye 1886
Emmett Kelly 1898
Margaret Hamilton 1902
Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. 1909
Kirk Douglas 1916 - Actor
Redd Foxx 1922
Dina Merrill 1925
Dick Van Patten 1928 - Actor ("Eight is Enough")
Buck Henry 1930 - Actor, writer
Morton Downey Jr. 1933
Judi Dench 1934 - Actress
Junior Wells 1934
Deacon Jones 1938 - Football player
Dan Hicks 1941
Beau Bridges 1941 - Actor
Dick Butkus 1942 - Football player
Rick Danko 1943 - Musician (The Band)
Michael Nouri 1945 - Actor
Tom Kite 1949 - Golfer
Joan Armatrading 1950 - Singer
Michael Dorn 1952 - Actor
John Malkovich 1953 - Actor
Sylvia 1956 - Singer
Donny Osmond 1957 - Singer
Nick Seymour 1958 - Musician (Crowded House)
Mario Cantone 1949 - Comedian
Joe Lando 1961 - Actor
Felicity Huffman 1962 - Actress ("Desperate Housewives")
Kat Bjelland 1963 - (Babes In Toyland)
Jerry Hughes 1965 - Musician
Thomas Flowers (Oleander) 1967 - Musician (Yankee Grey)
Brian Bell 1968 - Musician (Weezer)
Jakob Dylan 1969 - Musician (Wallflowers)
Brian Hayes 1969 - Musician
Allison Smith 1969 - Actress
David Kersh 1970 - Singer
Kara DioGuardi 1970 - TV personality ("American Idol")
Tre Cool 1972 - Musician (Green Day)
Canibus 1974 - Rapper
Eric Zamora 1976 - Musician (Save Ferris)
Imogen Heap 1977 - Singer
Jesse Metcalfe 1978 - Actor
Simon Helberg 1980 - Actor ("The Big Bang Theory")
1783 - The first executions at Newgate Prison took place.
1793 - "The American Minerva" was published for the first time. It was the first daily newspaper in New York City and was founded by Noah Webster.
1803 - The 12th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by the U.S. Congress. With the amendment Electors were directed to vote for a President and for a Vice-President rather than for two choices for President.
1848 - American author and creator of "Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit," Joel Chandler Harris was born.
1854 - Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," was published in England.
1879 - Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company.
1884 - Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball-bearing roller skate.
1892 - In London, "Widowers' Houses," George Bernard Shaw's first play, opened at the Royalty Theater.
1907 - Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the Wilmington, DE, post office.
1926 - The United States Golf Association legalized the use of steel-shafted golf clubs.
1914 - The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire.
1917 - Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops led by Viscount Allenby.
1940 - During World War II, British troops opened their first major offensive in North Africa.
1940 - The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM radio advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR in New York City.
1941 - China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy.
1942 - The Aram Khachaturian ballet "Gayane" was first performed by the Kirov Ballet.
1955 - Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained his world middleweight boxing title.
1958 - In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society.
1960 - Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known as "Univac 1107."
1960 - The first episode of "Coronation Street" was screened on ITV.
1962 - "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world premiere in London.
1965 - Nikolai V. Podgorny replaced Anastas I. Mikoyan as president of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet.
1975 - U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from having to default.
1978 - The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League (WBL) was played between the Chicago Hustle and the Milwaukee Does.
1983 - NATO foreign ministers called on the Soviet Union to join in a "comprehensive political dialogue" to ease tensions in the world.
1985 - In Argentina, five former military junta members received sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty war" in which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared."
1987 - West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising) against Israeli occupation.
1987 - In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the Jabliya refugee camp.
1990 - Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential election in the country's history.
1990 - Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's first free elections in 50 years.
1990 - The first American hostages to be released by Iran began arriving in the U.S.
1991 - European Community leaders agreed to begin using a single currency in 1999.
1992 - Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their separation.
1992 - Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George.
1992 - U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore Hope'.
1993 - The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms control treaty.
1993 - Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope.
1993 - At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists produced a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3 million watts.
1994 - Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland.
1996 - UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the UN trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990.
1999 - The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian diplomat that had been caught gathering information with an eavesdropping device at the U.S. State Department.
2002 - United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after losing $4 billion in the previous two years. It was the sixth largest bankruptcy filing.
2003 - In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch etchings, a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's mother, were valued around $518,000.
2013 - AMR Corporation and US Airways Group completed a merger and was listed on the NASDAQ as American Airlines Group, Inc.
Birthdays
Gustavus II 1594
John Milton 1608 - Poet
Clarence Birdseye 1886
Emmett Kelly 1898
Margaret Hamilton 1902
Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. 1909
Kirk Douglas 1916 - Actor
Redd Foxx 1922
Dina Merrill 1925
Dick Van Patten 1928 - Actor ("Eight is Enough")
Buck Henry 1930 - Actor, writer
Morton Downey Jr. 1933
Judi Dench 1934 - Actress
Junior Wells 1934
Deacon Jones 1938 - Football player
Dan Hicks 1941
Beau Bridges 1941 - Actor
Dick Butkus 1942 - Football player
Rick Danko 1943 - Musician (The Band)
Michael Nouri 1945 - Actor
Tom Kite 1949 - Golfer
Joan Armatrading 1950 - Singer
Michael Dorn 1952 - Actor
John Malkovich 1953 - Actor
Sylvia 1956 - Singer
Donny Osmond 1957 - Singer
Nick Seymour 1958 - Musician (Crowded House)
Mario Cantone 1949 - Comedian
Joe Lando 1961 - Actor
Felicity Huffman 1962 - Actress ("Desperate Housewives")
Kat Bjelland 1963 - (Babes In Toyland)
Jerry Hughes 1965 - Musician
Thomas Flowers (Oleander) 1967 - Musician (Yankee Grey)
Brian Bell 1968 - Musician (Weezer)
Jakob Dylan 1969 - Musician (Wallflowers)
Brian Hayes 1969 - Musician
Allison Smith 1969 - Actress
David Kersh 1970 - Singer
Kara DioGuardi 1970 - TV personality ("American Idol")
Tre Cool 1972 - Musician (Green Day)
Canibus 1974 - Rapper
Eric Zamora 1976 - Musician (Save Ferris)
Imogen Heap 1977 - Singer
Jesse Metcalfe 1978 - Actor
Simon Helberg 1980 - Actor ("The Big Bang Theory")